Dating women i wish i was gay

I’m comin’ at you with a hot take: If you’re a straight person and you feel like you want to experiment with the same sex, don’t get on Tinder. Or at the very least, your bio should state that you are a straight person looking to experiment.

You might be asking yourself, “But Kailyn, if someone is experimenting, doesn’t that make them bisexual or something?” The answer is maybe, but more often than not, it’s just someone trying to force themselves to be gay for the purposes of being “progressive.”

When I go on Tinder in search of a lady partner, I’ll inevitably run into a girl who’s just there to “give it a shot.” These girls don’t state this right off the bat, they wait and then spring it on me like some sort of really crappy birthday gift.

Here’s the thing: You can’t will yourself to be gay, and trying to be gay doesn’t make you woke, it makes you annoying. Also, it’s kind of rude. Please just knock it off. If you wanna make out with a girl, do it at a party or have a threesome with a couple. Ask a friend to make out with you, I don’t know.

I do know, though, that it is offensive to the LGBTQ+ community to just decide you’re gay and hop on our Tinder-sphere. Being gay isn’t some cute and fun activity for you to try. It is a life, and if you’re gay, you’d know. As far as I’m aware, you don’t need to practice being gay before you learn you’re gay. You kinda already know.

If you’re a girl, sometimes dating men sucks, sure. But so does dating women. I hear way too many straight women say things like, “Wow, I really wish I could date a woman because men suck, and it’d be so easy to date a girl.” That is, shockingly, not how it works. Relationships are relationships no matter the sex, and they all come with their hardships. Dating a girl when you’re a girl doesn’t inherently make for a simple and wonderful relationship.

Stop saying that. If you’re not gay for women, don’t try to be gay for women.

It’s not okay to fetishize the gay community and decide you want to join in on the fun. We struggle enough in Missoula to find a partner because this place is a gay person desert. We aren’t a cool story to tell your friends sometime in the future about the one time you hooked up with a girl from Tinder.

When you pretend or try to be gay, you disregard the struggles of the LGBTQ+ community. You disregard the microaggressions we get from waiters when we’re on dates with someone of the same gender. You ignore the problems we face while we’re trying to find a partner because you are literally getting in the way of that.