Tips for casual dating men

FOR HIM

Dating safety and sexual assault can be a difficult topic to discuss. Statistics show that 1 in 3 young women and nearly 1 in 2 young men say they do not know the signs of sexual assault. We’ve developed these tips for you to discuss together. These tips apply to a casual date, just “hanging out” or serious relationships. Abstaining from sex is the safest choice for young people. But if a young person chooses to engage in sexual activity and has questions about preventing pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases, please make an appointment with Family Health Services. Parents are welcome or young people may visit alone. Most importantly, be safe!

1. Avoid use of alcohol and drugs so you have full memory of the personal or sexual encounter.
2. Being turned down for sexual relations is not necessarily a rejection of you personally. A person who says “no” to sexual relations is expressing his or her unwillingness to participate in a specific act at a specific time.
3. Accept a person’s decision. “No” means “no.” Don’t read in other meanings.
4. Don’t assume that just because a person flirts or dresses in a manner you consider “sexy” that he or she wants to engage in sexual relations.
5. Don’t assume that previous permission for sexual relations means a person is under a continuing obligation to have sex with you.
6. Don’t assume your date wants the same degree of intimacy as you.
7. Rape is a crime of violence. It is motivated by the desire to control and dominate, not by sexual desire.
8. Don’t make statements that imply forced sexual demands.
9. Don’t assume spending money on a date entitles you to sex.
10. If you witness someone attempting to force sex on another person, it is your responsibility to try to stop it.
11. If you compel a person to have sex against his or her will by force or threats, even if you know the person or have had sex with him or her before, you are committing a rape.