Dating profile pic asian

Don’t judge a book by its cover.  This is one saying that should be taken to heart by any foreign man seriously looking for a Chinese wife through Chinese online dating.  More specifically, do not believe right away that a woman’s photo is an “accurate” representation of her real looks, especially when she is all made up in it and in all the other photos in her profile. 

But don’t misunderstand, not all Chinese women who are all made up in their photos and/or have their photos professionally taken intend to deceive (it’s like all mothers are women but not all women are mothers).  There is nothing wrong with wanting to look their best; even a little vanity is not bad.  In fact, one of the many reasons foreign men desire Chinese women is that they are very good at taking care of their looks. Let’s not forget that.

There are some, however, who post glamour photos of themselves that are at least 10 years old, either because they actually believe they still look the same, or they do intend to deceive.  And then there are also those who post current glamour photos that are so altered that they can have no other intention but to deceive.  They may be a small minority, especially when you’re on a reputable matchmaking site, but you still have to watch out for them.

It’s more than likely you have already seen a lot of before-and-after photographs of western actresses and models on the internet, on television, and/or in magazines.  There has been plenty of fuss made over actresses and models stepping out in public sans makeup.  In a lot of cases, the fuss is about how different some of the women look au naturel – so different that they don’t look at all like the personalities on screen. 

Well, it has become a fact of life that most women love their makeup.  Chinese women are no exception.  Sure, you may say that looks are not important to you; what matters more are her values, her inner beauty.  But even when going on a blind date, you trust that your friend will not set you up with someone he/she knows you will not find at least pleasant to look at.  And wouldn’t you be suspicious if a woman on a matchmaking website has no photos of herself posted on her profile? 

You should have the same healthy suspicion of certain photographs Chinese women use, particularly those that look like they were professionally taken and/or where they look like they were professionally made up, and especially when they don’t post any other photos besides these.    

Again, you can say that her looks don’t matter; but would you feel the same way when the woman who meets you at the airport, when you finally visit her in China, looks a decade older than she does in her photos?  Wouldn’t you feel deceived? 

For foreign men with nothing but honest intentions, it will not be about being disappointed when the woman they meet in person is not as beautiful as she was in her photos; the disappointment will be about being led on.  Some may even feel betrayed, and rightly so.  How can you hope to have a serious commitment with someone who has deceived you from the get-go?

So the prudent thing to do for any foreign man looking for a serious, long-term commitment founded on mutual trust, respect, and love is to request for other “proofs of identification.”  Of course, you should not state the request in this manner; you will have to be both prudent and creative. 

You can share with her photos of yourself over the last few years or so, maybe even spanning the last decade, after which you can ask her to do the same.  You can (and for security reasons alone you should) request a video chat after you have established some level of comfort with each other. 

Of course, there is no better way to really know her “true identity” than by meeting her face to face.  Again, she can still wear makeup when she picks you up at the airport or meets up with you at a restaurant or your hotel.  In a few days’ time, her “true self” will still reveal itself. 

If it doesn’t you can just take her swimming. 

In any case, you should always take a closer look at the photos that Chinese women use on their dating profiles.  If they only post photos of themselves all dolled up and/or photos that were professionally done, don’t be too quick to “judge” them.  After all, the aforementioned “don’t judge a book” saying is not one-sided.   You probably have not posted your worst selfies either.

As they also say, “to each his own”.  Some men don’t mind women wearing makeup; others don’t like it at all, and far prefer au natural.  I count myself firmly in the latter group. More than a tiny bit of makeup is a turn off for me. But regardless which group you are in, when there is an intention to deceive, it that is an entirely different matter. 

Footnotes:

1. This blog is in honor of Paul Fox. It has been many months since Paul last wrote on this topic so I thought I’d beat him to the punch. Enjoy it Paul!

2. I am hoping that we’ll get lots of comments on this topic from the Chinese women. I’d like to get their side of the issue too.