Im dating this girl and i dont like her

By: Angela W. McShan

Updated December 16, 2020

Men around the globe have at one time or another faced a situation that causes them to struggle with a common issue. After several failed attempts to get girls to go out with them, they are left wondering the same thing, "I don't get why girls don't like me." It seems like a simple problem to solve, but it's not that simple for men who face the same rejection repeatedly.

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Could it be that she's just not that interested in you or perhaps she's involved with someone else? It could be either but to have it happen all the time, may lead you to wonder if there's something that you're missing. You begin to try and pinpoint various reasons why women have no interest in you.

Men who face consistent or repeated rejection may find it difficult to approach the dating scene at all. Sometimes repeated rejection can lead a person on a downward spiral of depression or low self-esteem. It's not a good feeling, and failure to address those concerns can lead to more severe issues. If you're facing any emotional issues due to relationships or other personal problems, you may benefit from counseling.

What Men Hear When Women Reject Them

Men have different characteristics, hobbies, personalities, and beliefs. However, when they are rejected by a female that they are attracted to, it can make them feel a variety of emotions. It's common for feelings of sadness, anger, hurt, and unworthiness to surface. Who wants to feel like they're not wanted? No one. Unfortunately, when an invitation to go out on a date is declined, it can be misperceived as an indication that there's something wrong with you. More often than not, this is not the case at all.

Some women are simply not interested in going out at the time or they may be too busy to accept the invitation. However, once the "no" leaves their lips, men hear something completely different. Rejection or a declined invitation to date a man is sometimes misheard as one or more of the following:

• You're not my type. It's hard to imagine how a "no" equates to this but it sometimes does. A guy may interpret this if he's approached a woman that he feels is out of his league. It usually takes a lot of nerves to ask someone out that appears to be different than you, and rejection sometimes reiterates the initial belief.
• You look weird. A guy who is already self-conscious with his looks may hear this when he's turned down for a date. There are many ways in which men wish to improve their looks or personality but it's not as easy as a simple wish. The issue is that they constantly compare themselves to other guys. It's not that the look weird at all, but that's what they hear when rejected by a woman.
• You creep me out. After numerous rejections, some guys begin to feel like they must be creeping girls out since they always turn them down. It's possible that she has other reasons for saying no. But the discomfort of rejection completely eliminates the possibility of any reasonable thinking.

These are only a few of the many thoughts that run through the minds of some men when a woman declines an invitation to go out with them. It may be because they've heard "no" numerous times or that they've been rejected for so many years of their life. Rejection is never comfortable, but understanding why women repeatedly say no to your advances may help you to overcome the negative thoughts. It could also help you to improve the areas that need work, which could possibly increase the chances of turning those rejections into acceptances.

I Don't Get Why Girls Don't Like Me: 10 Possible Reasons Why They're Not into You

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1. You come on too strong

It's possible that she's shy or sees your advances as being too aggressive. If you approach a woman and are cocky or just assume that she'll be head-over-heels to date you, she probably sees you as overly aggressive. A cocky attitude is equivalent to rudeness in many ways. Women still like to be treated with kindness and wooed by men. It's okay to be confident in your approach, but don't allow cockiness to overshadow your confidence.

1. You have a negative attitude

Are you constantly complaining about life and how it owes you so much? Do you think that you're the only guy out there working hard to achieve things in life? Are you constantly griping about the things you don't have but feel you deserve? If you answer yes to these questions, you are likely perceived as a negative person with a strong dislike for life and everyone in it. Women aren't into guys like this at all. In fact, men would find it difficult to be friends with you because of your attitude.

A negative attitude is depressing and causes others to feel down or defeated in life. Girls are interested in guys that lift their spirits and are fun to be around. They don't welcome negativity or negative people into their lives.

1. You have an uninspiring lifestyle

Is your life filled with positive surprises? Are you constantly doing new and exciting things? Do you find yourself constantly stepping out and embarking on new adventures?

Women are excited to date men that fit the "yes" spectrum of the above questions. They're not expecting a man to be rich but they do want him to be ambitious. If you spend your days sitting around the house watching television and playing video games, where's the excitement in that? Women want to date guys that are passionate about life and what it brings. This is the type of guy they navigate towards.

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To determine if you lead the type of life a woman would want to associate with, ask yourself if what you do from day-to-day (other than work) is something she'd enjoy. If not, consider things you could do to make your life more attractive.

1. She's turned off by your intentions

When you approach women to ask them out, what are your intentions? If your primary goal is to make her like you, you've got the wrong plan. This causes you to appear less genuine, somewhat embellished and needy.

On the opposite side of the coin are those guys who only want to connect sexually. They're focused on one thing and one thing only, a hook-up. Girls see this in a man and are instantly repulsed because they aren't interested in just a hook-up. Therefore, they avoid these type of guys at all costs.

1. You're too arrogant

While there are a few similarities between arrogance and cockiness, arrogance is a bit softer in approach. Confidence is a good trait to have but it's possible to be overly confident in some ways. Simply put, it's a turn-off. If a guy is overly confident and only cares about himself, a girl will quickly lose interest.

Girls like to feel valued and appreciated. An arrogant guy usually fails to give her that type of attention. He is usually too absorbed in himself to show her how great of a woman she is. This is how and extremely arrogant guy runs girls off before the first date. Women appreciate a confident man but arrogance will rarely get you anywhere with women.

1. Your appearance is blah

Men usually admire a woman's physical attributes such as a pretty face and smoking body. That's about the extent of their admiration. However, women notice much more. They pay attention to the face and physique as well, but are really into his presentation. They notice if he is well dressed, clean-cut, and well put-together in other areas. Women check men out to see if they appear to have it all together or at least have the know-how and drive to get it together.

It is natural for people to judge others based on their looks. Some think it's the right thing to do, while others are completely against it. Girls from all walks of life find it easier to choose the guys they date based on who they date.

Appearance 101: Girls will rarely date a guy if they're not impressed with their appearance. This is an issue that's easy to address. Clean up a little bit by wearing a pair of nice pants or jeans, clean or stylish shoes, and groom your hair. You can spruce up other areas that are a little less than appealing as well.

1. You're too shy

You may have thought it would be easier to have your friend ask her out because you're a little shy, but that may not go over so well. It's natural to be a little shy or possibly intimidated by a woman's beauty, but you can't allow it to dictate your confidence. Shyness is cute but if you're too shy to communicate with her, it can be a turn off.

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Some women feel that they'll have to do all the talking, decision making, and planning in the relationship if they date a guy who is too shy. If you're too shy to ask her out, how will you work up the nerves to converse with her on a date? Think of your positive attributes and allow them to be the foundation for your strength. It's only a date and she's not expecting you to be this overly talkative guy. She will expect you to be yourself and offer quality and engaging conversation when you're with her.

1. You talk too much

Are you one of those guys that never run out of things to say? You've got story after story to tell and never let anyone else get a word in during the conversation. It's not that you're self-absorbed, because you talk about everything. However, it could be that you simply talk too much.

Most women aren't interested in guys that talk too much. Dates can be consumed by one-sided conversation and that's no fun at all. If you're a chatterbox, save it for your buddies. Girls appreciate guys that can hold a balanced conversation and have the ability to listen as well as talk.

1. You're obnoxious

Some guys say all the wrong things at the wrong times. They are intolerable and almost always the person that others avoid. This is a characteristic that most people are annoyed by, especially women.

Obnoxious behavior is an extremely unattractive trait. If you are a guy that constantly makes rude comments, offers unwanted opinions, and uninvitingly intrudes on other people's space, you could be considered obnoxious.

This type of behavior is a clear turn-off for most women. If obnoxious behavior is your weakness, you should work to change that immediately. Until you make improvements in this area, you will probably be rejected many more times for dates and other engagements in life.

1. You're too clingy

Did she give you her number and you constantly call or text her? Are you always popping up in places where you know she'll be? These things can make you appear to be a bit too clingy.

Girls may enjoy spending some time with you, but they don't want to feel smothered. It's easy for them to feel that way if you constantly intrude on their space. Give her some room to breathe. Follow her lead, and allow her to invite you into the areas of her life that she wants you to be a part of.

Summary

Guys are rejected every day, and it's something that can make you feel defeated. It's important to take full assessment of your attitude, appearance, confidence, and self-worth. If you're pleased with these aspects of your life, the right girl will be also. Always strive to be your best self and refuse to change for anyone, especially if changing doesn't allow you to remain authentic to who you truly are or wish to be in life.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Why do girls reject me? 
Sometimes nice guys feel like they get the short end of the stick and that women aren’t attracted to them like they are the “bad boys.” You’ll find that this is not necessarily the case in reality; the women you meet are just not the ladies that are looking for a guy like you. 

What if the girl I like doesn't like me?
Sometimes the girl that you like does not like you back. It is not that something is necessarily wrong with you; it is just that the women are attracted to other qualities that you do not possess. Just like you are attracted to certain types of women and do not find every girl you meet to be your potential soulmate. Men and women aren’t attracted to everyone for a reason; the pheromones that one person finds appealing or offsetting to another. It’s basic human chemistry. 

What do girls say when they don't like you?
Some women won’tsay anything mean when they do not physically like you. They might say that they like you as a friend, but not as a boyfriend, or that they are dating someone, even if they are not, just because they do not want to hurt your feelings and are trying to let you down gently. If you and a girl on a date are not connecting, you may be able to tell that she is not interested in you just by her body language. She might be fussing back and forth in her seat, acting uncomfortable, or looking around at other people and things that seem more interesting. The woman may also keep checking her watch to see how much time has gone by. These are basic body language signs that she is giving off that she is not interested in what you are talking about or being on a date with you.

Girls want to feel like they are being paid attention to, so if you are monopolizing the conversation talking about your comic book collection, she does not feel like you care. Women aren’t interested in learning your life history on a first date; they just want to get to know the basics and see if there’s any connection. 

If the girl on a date, or even before you get to a date, says things like, “that seems different,” or “I am not interested in …” and you like those things, this is a clear sign that you both are not on the same page. She may also say things like, “I have to get up early in the morning,” “Maybe another time,” or “I’ll look at my schedule and maybe get back to you,” she probably is not interested in seeing you.

Is it OK to be rejected by a girl?
Yes. Not every guy is good at attracting women, and not every women is attracted to every man. Furthermore, not everyone is meant to be with every person they may be attracted to and want to date. Advice from dating advice experts has said that getting to know someone, even when online dating, is the key to long term success. Online dating can be tricky because you are only having a conversation on a screen. It is impossible to read body language or know if the person is being honest with how they look and what how they feel about someone. Women online may not be entirely upfront about their weight or height as it can be a sensitive subject. The best way to interact with this you find through online dating sites is to talk to women in face to face or live video settings. This way, you can start to pick up on their body language as well as their verbal communication. 

How do you make a girl want you?
Dating advice experts agree that you should never try to make a girl want you. If she is attracted to you, and she has known you for a little or long time, she will want to see you more. Women love compliments, and most want to have a love life with another person. So, instead of making a girl want you, you should strive, through personal development, to show her that you are someone worth her free time. 

Men sometimes need to grow as a person and get away from the juvenile high school boy fantasy that they can woo any women that they want. The reality of it is, women tend to get jaded as they get older from bad experiences with men. One would think, “don’t girls want a boyfriend just as much as I want a girlfriend?” But the truth is, yes, they want companionship, but they don’t want to be treated badly. Women want to be respected and appreciated. When online dating consider these questions and answers:

• Don’t girls want to meet a nice guy? Yes, but they also want to meet someone they can trust. 
• Don’t girls want to be taken care of? Yes, but they also want to be seen as independent. They don’t want someone to control their lives, rather, they want a mutual partner to share a life with and grow together. 
• What dating advice do girls get about online dating? To be cautious and not engage in conversations with pushy people. If a guy is pushy online, this may be a red flag. 

How do guys feel after rejecting a girl?
Every guy is different. Some men feel more masculine when they reject a girl. They feel like they had power over a situation. Other guys feel bad when they reject a girl. Those who have gone through personal development understand how rejection feels and know that it hurts. So, whether you are online dating or tell a girl who expresses interest in seeing you romantically, let her down easy. No one deserves to be treated badly. 

How do you know if a girl doesn’t like you?
While most girls do not like to hurt a person's feelings, they also know that if they are not romantically attracted to you or do not like some attribute that is a deal breaker, then they need to avoid leading you on. You can usually tell through body language if a girl is not into you and doesn’t like you. She may talk to you with her arms crossed or take a step backward when you approach to say hello. She may also not look you directly in the eyes or may stand with you at her side rather than face to face. 

If you are online dating and there is a girl that just gives simple answers, she may not be interested in getting to know you better. A girl who asks questions about you and gives you lengthy answers to your questions has taken the time to do so because she’s interested. 

How do you know if your crush likes you?
If your crush likes you, then she will act the opposite of how a girl who doesn’t like you would act. She will most likely stand facing you. She may extend her hand towards you when speaking, rather than keeping them close to her body. Your crush may lean into you when you say something funny and make her laugh. She will also smile, and her eyes will react differently than when she is talking to someone who she is not attracted to as much or at all. If you look at the eyes of someone who likes you, their pupils will be large, like they are taking all of you in. If their pupils are small, then there is less attraction. Keep in mind, this gauge doesn’t work as well if you are outside on a sunny day. 

When you are online dating, body language does not work, so you need to go more off of whether she asks you in depth questions and seems like she is interested in getting to know you better. 

How do you tell if a girl is playing you?
If you are online dating, you most likely will not know if a girl is leading you on. She will say just the right things for you to walk into her tangled web of seduction. However, if you meet someone in person and they act flirtatious when you are alone, but when she is with her friends, she has a different personality, that is a red flag.