When should girls start dating - opinion, actual
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Even if you're not ready, your teen will be before you know it! When it comes to teen dating, your guidelines are key.
There are a lot of issues that parents of teens have to face, and we'll be honest: none of them are easy! Parenting teens is not for the faint of heart. There's puberty, social and peer pressure, body image issues, and the battle over social media and the influence that has on the day-to-day lives of teens. And all of this while parents are grappling with their babies growing up and getting ready to fly the nest!
It's a difficult parenting and development stage, for sure. But many parents of teens will tell you, that out of all the stuff that goes down during this season of life, one of the hardest is when their teens start dating. Dating! It feels like just yesterday they were still crawling into our beds at night after a bad dream! But eventually, your teens are going to want to start branching out in their social life, and will enter into romantic relationships with their peers.
While there really is no hard and fast rule about when a teen should be allowed to go on solo dates, there are definitely some things to take into consideration before giving them your (very guarded) blessing. If you've got a teen who is asking about solo dating, or you just want to be prepared for when group dates lose their luster, this advice may help.
When should you let your teen start dating?
Teen dating has changed quite a bit since we were teenagers! Remember sitting by the phone, willing it to ring? Or passing a note in class to let your crush/boyfriend/girlfriend know you think they look cute today?
Nowadays, kids are more connected than ever, with phones, social media, and the growing trend of boys and girls being allowed to socialize together in and out of school. On average, girls start going on group dates between 12 and 12 1/2, and boys between 13 and 13 1/3. Group dates can be a bunch of friends hanging out at a party of after the game, going to the movies, or going shopping at the mall.
Much of the time, these group dates contain at least one "coupling": two kids or teens who are closer in a romantic way, but probably feel more comfortable being among friends than alone.
Group dating starting around the age of 12-13 is a great way for tweens and teens to ease into dating at a slower, more supported pace. Oftentimes, these groups are friends that parents are all familiar with, and whom they feel comfortable allowing their tweens and teens to hang around. These friend groups/group dates put everyone at ease, and give kids this age a chance to socialize without adults watching over them (but watching from a distance).
When should you allow your teen to start going on solo dates?
This is the million dollar question, isn't it? And what makes it so tricky is that it's going to vary wildly from family to family, and even from teen to teen within the same family. Solo dating requires a lot of trust in your teen - trust that they will behave responsibly, make wise decisions, and follow the rules set forth by you as their parent.
Some teens will be ready to handle this enormous responsibility much sooner than others, and you have to be very mindful of each of your teens' maturity and responsibility before granting them this privilege.
Generally speaking, many teens will be ready for the responsibility of solo dating around the age of 16. Given, of course, that they have demonstrated good decision making skills and trustworthiness during the group dating phase! As a parent, 16 can still feel and sound too young to go off on a date on their own; but as parents, we have to (at some point) trust our kids, and we have to understand that as they age and mature, romance and sexual relationships are going to happen. It's just a matter of making sure they happen in a safe way that protects all involved.
Before your teen's first solo date, set some clear ground rules.
The first solo date is a big deal! But before your teen walks out of the house, go over your rules and expectations - for probably the hundredth time. It's a good idea to get to know the person your teen is going to be dating, prior to allowing them to go out alone. Make sure your teen and their date give you their itinerary, so you have an idea of where they are and what they're doing.
Ask that they check in with you at least once or twice, just to let you know they're doing OK and having fun. And come up with a reasonable curfew that is non-negotiable, at least for the first few dates. And most importantly, make sure you've discussed (at length!) safe sex practices and how to identify potentially dangerous situations before they embark on their first solo date.
Couldn't hurt to come up with a code word to use, too, if they find themselves in a situation that makes them uncomfortable and need your help.
READ NEXT: Everything You Need To Know About Talking To Your Teen About Dating
Jayme is a single mom of two little girls in Southern California. Because being a single, work-from-home mom isn't stressful enough, she also has two dogs (but only one of them is crazy!). Jayme has been writing professionally for just over two years, and while she covers a lot of topics, her wheelhouse is parenting and trending news, both of which provide a wealth of material on a daily basis. She speaks her mind, cusses too much, and always sticks up for what she believes in. Her opinions are always her own, but let's be honest, they're usually always right. You can find more of her work on Mommyish, Care, and Mommy Nearest.
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