Best dating freakgranny app

When you're barely past the first date with someone new, everything from where they grew up to their favorite sex position is a fascinating mystery to unravel about the other person. Once a couple has been together for years, though, they often think of their partner as less of a mystery, and more like a book that's been read so many times, there are no surprises left. Asking each other dirty questions can be a hot way to get to know what a new partner likes, plus how to turn them on, and for longtime couples, a great game to spice things up.

It's more than just a verbal foreplay idea—you may be pleasantly surprised by the answers you get to the dirty questions, even if you've been married for decades, says Zoë Ligon, a Detroit-based sex edutainer and owner of gender-neutral sex toy shop the Spectrum Boutique. Citing what marriage-focused therapist Esther Perel says in her book Mating in Captivity, Ligon says that "it's all about meeting your partner over and over again, and falling in love with them again. And with yourself, as well." There's more to discover than you might think, she adds. "We're all constantly changing, and that's kind of the exciting thing about longterm relationships."

Dr. Lyndsey Harper, founder of Rosy, an app for women with decreased sexual desire, says asking each other these freaky questions is a fun way to "learn about you and your partner's preferences, and how you can bring those together to create the best sexually-intimate partnership possible."

If talking about sex is outside of you or your partner's comfort zone, Harper suggests you ease into it—she likens it to starting with a slow walk when you're just beginning a workout regimen.

With contributions from Zoë Ligon and Lyndsey Harper, M.D, here are 30 flirty, dirty questions to turn each other on.

Questions that reveal secret turn-ons

• "What's your definition of amazing sex?"
• "If you could have sex in any location in the world, where would it be?"
• "If you could have sex with any celebrity, who would it be—and what do you think it would it be like?"
• "What's one of your favorite sexual fantasies?" A fantasy your partner shares may surprise you—in a good, or not-so-good, way. Harper says to keep in mind that fantasies are simply that: "They never have to become reality."
• "What porn are you watching right now?" This question creates another space to discuss one's fantasies versus their wants from reality. "Most of the time, the type of porn we watch doesn't directly correlate to the sex we want to have in real life," Ligon says.
• "What do you look like, and sound like, when sex feels good for you?"
• "What's something non-sexual that turns you on?"
• "What types of games gave you the most joy as a child?" Citing the ideas of renowned sex educator Midori, Ligon says that "kink play is just the adult version of 'playtime,' with fun tools and adult privileges." For example, answers such as tag or wrestling "might inspire a sexy game of naked boisterous play."
• "What do you think about when you masturbate?"
• "What would an erotic vacation look like for you?"
• "Is there a sexy song that tends to get you in the mood?"
• "Have you ever been caught having sex before? Tell me about it." If you ever find yourself feeling jealous when hearing about a partner's past escapades, Dr. Harper suggests acknowledging the feeling and moving on. If your partner prickles at hearing your answers, she adds, "maybe restate the purpose of the conversation, saying, 'I didn't really mean to make you feel that way. My goal is to have fun and spice things up a bit."
• "What's something you've always wanted to ask me to try—but assumed I wouldn't like?"
• "Is there an erotic movie scene that turns you on to watch? Want to watch together?"
• "Where's the wildest place you've ever hooked up with someone before?"
• "Are there types of clothing that you find highly erotic?" You might be expecting the answer to be all lacy bras and skimpy lingerie. But, Ligon points out, "there are many erotic objects that aren’t inherently sexual and get the blood flowing. Maybe it's bike shorts, or socks!"

Questions about how you turn each other on

• “What would you do if we were alone together?” This is best whispered in a crowded place, says Dr. Harper.
• "What's something you want more of in our sex life?"
• "What’s the most unusual place you'd like to have sex with me?"
• "Where’s somewhere in our home you'd like to 'christen' with sex?"
• "What's your favorite time of day to have sex?"
• “What is the most embarrassing thing that’s happened during sex?” This can be a great one for new partners, especially. "Discussing those moments may be not hot for some of us, but it also paves the way for us to get all of the fears and worries about sexual mishaps out of the way," says Ligon.
• "Can we try this intimate sex position when you get home?" Send a text while they're out to build anticipation.
• "What would you like me to wear to bed tonight?"
  
• "Where, and how, can I touch you that will turn you on?"
• "Would you like to use one of these vibrators on me?" Send a link to your favorite selections.
• "Have I ever turned you on while we were in public? If so, how?"
• "What could I say or text to you that would get you hot immediately?"
• "Want to play never-have-I-ever?"
• "Do you have a favorite sexual memory of us?" Memory is subjective, so your partner might surprise you with what (and how) they look back at moments you've shared. "Building those intimate bonds and then reliving them can be the 'glue' that provides comfort in times of distress, or when you're feeling less sexual."

For more stories like this, sign up for our newsletter.